Cut Out the We's - Part 1

Articles In This Section:

· Cut Out the We's - Part 1

· Cut Out the We's - Part 2

· Cut Out the We's - Part 3

· Cut Out the We's - Part 4

It is quite natural when you write your speech to overwork the word "we." That is almost the rule if it is a business speech. "We built this factory," "We turned out this production," "We made this many sales," "We did this amount of advertising." We did this. We did that. When I am asked to revise a speaking script, I usually find that one of the most difficult jobs is getting out the "we's."

Of course there are times when the "we's" should be used and times when they should come out. Let's discuss a few of both.

"We's" should come out when:

1. They make it sound as if you are bragging.

2. You are expressing your own opinion.

3. You could say "you" and give the credit to the audience.

"We's" belong in when:

1. They include the audience.

2. You are telling stories about yourself.

Often a simple change in wording can eliminate the "we's." Here is a paragraph from an advertising talk. There are a lot of "we's" in it and they don't seem to help. They seem to put the speaker in the position of taking too much credit, if not bragging:

We feel that is the job of our magazine, radio and other national advertising. We feel we've got a pre-selling job to do. If we can presell the customers, if we can get them into the dealers' stores, we have gone a long way toward wrapping up the sale.

There are six "we's" in those forty-nine words. Now let's see what happens when all of them are cut out:

That's the job of our magazine, radio and other national advertising. It has a pre-selling job to do. If it can pre-sell customers, if it can get them into dealers' stores, it has gone a long way toward wrapping up the sale.

The revision gives the credit to the advertising and not to us. But won't that paragraph be a better speaking script?